Celebrating Women

Be sure to tune into the "Ask Patricia Show" today from 8:00-11:00am (EST) to join hosts Patricia Benjamin and Joan James as they pay tribute to outstanding women in society.

I'll also be a guest on the show discussing my personal journey as an NFL Wife and the importance of maintaining a healthy Sense Of Self.

LISTEN LIVE by logging onto http://www.playvybz.com 

Balancing Act

    One of my all time favorite sports is gymnastics. I LOVE GYMNASTICS!!! I took it from the age of 3 until I was 11. I loved being part of a team, competing and most of all the flipping. I didn't, however, like the dreaded balance beam. I was expected to do all types of flips, spins, leaps, poses and dance moves all while balancing on a 4 inch surface that's elevated 4 feet off the ground!! NOT the easiest thing in the world to do. If I wasn't extremely focused on each move and in tune with my entire body, I was sure to lose balance and fall off. Sometimes I would land on my feet making it easier to hop back on and continue. Other times I might fall off onto my back and get the wind knocked out of me which made it much harder to just get back up. No matter how I fell, having good balance was the key to not falling at all.

 Balance is something that needs to be applied to our everyday lives. Our love life, parenthood ...EVERYTHING!!  Now ladies, we may be good at A LOT of things, but our balancing act tends to be off sometimes.  Although we try, being everything to everybody and nothing to ourselves just doesn't work. It only leads to burnout, resentment and frustration. Trust me, I know!  That's what being UN-balanced looks like though. It's stressful and trying. What we often fail to realize is that we're no good to anybody if we continue to mentally, physically and emotionally drain ourselves. We WANT to give, but we can't possibly give what we don't have.

What we have to learn is that there needs to be a balance between loving our self and loving others. We shouldn't feel guilty about putting our self first. That's not being selfish, that's being smart. Loving yourself is a prerequisite to loving others. The better you love and take care of yourself, the better you're able love and take care of those around you. 

   Just like on the balance beam you need to stay focused and in tune with yourself.  Know exactly what it is that you want and desire out of life in order to live it out in harmony. Master that balancing act of loving yourself and loving others. This way, you can avoid some of those falls that knock the wind out of you.

"Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself." ~ (EAT, PRAY, LOVE)

Do you think that being natural nurturers hinders us from living balanced lives? And if so, how can we turn that around?

Twilight Zone

 

     I might be dating myself, but do you remember the show "The Twilight Zone?" The show where in each episode a main character experiences some type of strange circumstance, surprising plot twist and a confusing outcome. Outcomes that are so far from the everyday "norm" it left them feeling like they had lost their mind. That was a great show!! I loved watching The Twilight Zone. I don't, however, like feeling that I'm stuck in an episode of it.

     Have you ever been in a situation, a conversation, or even a relationship that made you feel that way? Like you were just crazy or you had crossed over into some type of alternate universe or something?? That the reactions and responses from the other person were so far out there that it had you thinking to yourself, "They can't possibly be serious." Or looking around thinking "This HAS to be some type of a joke!!" I'll admit that I've been in a situation or two that had me scratching my head thinking "Oh My Goodness....am I crazy?" That's not a good feeling to have.

     At times what seems normal to one person may seem like pure madness to another. It may be that neither one of you is necessarily "crazy." It could be that you're both just seeing things from opposite sides of the spectrum. We're all wired differently. And when you factor in different backgrounds and upbringings, it's no wonder our mind-sets don't always match those around us. Since we all have our different ways of viewing things, there's such a thing as a middle ground. We all need to practice the art of compromise sometimes. However, if  you find yourself stuck in a constant state of confusion that has you feeling forced to compromise your authentic character, that's when it's time to realize what your own reality is and step out of  The Twilight Zone.

Never compromise your character!! Never lose yourself in someone else's mind!!

Comfort Zone vs. Peace Of Mind

                                        

     Change can be very scary.  Starting over from scratch....even scarier!!! But sometimes it's very necessary. We can easily get trapped in a comfort zone that may not even be all that comfortable. It's just familiar. But when you find yourself accepting things you shouldn't accept, ignoring signs that shouldn't be ignored and staying in a situation that has taken you so far from your true self, it's time for a change.

      People may think that a person who leaves a high paid, yet unfulfilling, corporate position to pursue there authentic passion has lost there mind. Or one who leaves a financially secure, yet self-sacrificing, relationship in order to recognize her own purpose as crazy.  But let me tell you this...it's much easier to replace material possessions than it is to replace a lost mind. Peace of mind is UNCOMPROMISABLE!! And emotional freedom....PRICELESS!!!

     You're very fortunate if your comfort zone and your peace of mind coincide in an harmonic balance. That's exactly how it's suppose to be. But if you're just "functioning in your own dysfunction" with no peace of mind in sight, then it's time for you to allow yourself the freedom to bloom.- 

QUESTION: Is it fear of the unknown or lack of self-confidence that keeps us from embracing change? Please share your thoughts.

If Only I Knew Then What I Know Now...

      Life is a culmination of choices. Some good...some not so good. We've all made mistakes that we wish we could go back and change. We may even have a regret or two.  Choosing  a career path you weren't passionate about or staying in a relationship that you knew deep down was no good for you. Things like that can easily give you a bad case of the "Woulda...Coulda... Shoulda's." 
      Now believe me when I say that I've searched and I've search, but I have yet to find a time machine for sale. Not even on Ebay!!! But what if there was? What if you had a once in a lifetime opportunity to either go back in time or ahead to the future? To be honest with you, that's crossed my mind a lot lately. Would I go back and change a few things around; correct some of the mistakes I've made? Or, would I fast forward to the bright future I know I have ahead of me?   
      That's a toughy!! As much as I would like to go to the future so I could enjoy the fruits of my labor, I wouldn't go there.  I wouldn't be ready to receive what was in store for me. There's still some learning and growing I need to do.  I would go back in time. However, as tempted as I would be to shift a few things around, I wouldn't change a thing.  The wisdom and knowledge gained during what I refer to as my "Character Building Phase" (a.k.a. "Rock Bottom"), is far too valuable for me to lose. No way!! I'm much stronger and wiser now for having  gone through the things I went through. What I would do though, is go back and give myself some sound advise. I would simply relay this message:

 

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” ~Steve Jobs

QUESTION:  If you could go back in time and give yourself a word of advise, what would it be?

Unplug and Wash Your Cares Away

:A TIP FROM ME TO YOU: After a long hard day, draw yourself nice bath with lots of bubbles and epsom salt. Relax for a while, then begin to scrub off all the stress and negative energy you managed to pick up throughout your day. Allow the salt to absorb all of that negativity. When your done, sit and watch as every drop of stress...every drop of negative energy...every worry, care or concern washes down the drain. Close up the drain. Breathe a huge sigh of relief. Smile. Then simply walk away...{{Please share other creative ways to relax and unwind .}}